“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Heb 11:1
Faith is a tricky thing. In truth, every single person on the planet operates in it to some degree. We are confident the sun is going to rise in the morning, that as we breath out, we’ll get to breath back in, and that tomorrow will be there. Tomorrow is not always there though, and so begins the eternal debate as to the ramifications of that. What ARE we believing in, that we cannot see?
For the longest time, I didn’t really think what I’d hoped for would actually happen…. I’d lost my faith that ‘love’ could keep things together.
It took one life altering moment, when a truth I’d heard repeated my whole life…. That love forgives, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things (1 Corinth 3:17)…. ACTUALLY HAPPENED. When I deserved judgement and condemnation, and instead got, “I forgive you, I love you”…. It changed my life. For the first time I understood the price that was paid to make that possible. I understand that alone, humanity is not capable of something like that, and yet there it was, being extended to me. From that moment on, I wanted nothing more than to extend that feeling to every single other person I could. for the rest of my life. I finally felt free.
Faith is the freeing feeling that, THANK GOD HE has a plan for my kids life cause if that whole responsibility was on me, well I might just find a dark hole for the next 18 years and trust monkey’s with their well-being. Now at least I can HOPE they will turn into contributing members of society, and have the assurance that even though when they are beating each other senseless and lying to my face, I can still believe somehow that will happen!
I can hope that I am enough. Despite all of my faults, failings, and shortcomings, I am still enough. I am what MY kids need. I’m what MY husband needs. And, even though the world screams I need to be 11’dy million other things, in truth there are only a FEW things I need to be for (in perspective of the world) the FEW people He has entrusted to my care in this season. I can hope that the unique way God made me it is exactly what He intended, to accomplish exactly what He needs, and I can FINALLY be at peace with that. (Most days… on the days I don’t forget, and promptly freak out that I’m FAILING AT EVERYTHING.)
My favorite thing about faith…. that its new every single day…. What I believed yesterday might not be the exact permutation of what I believe today. Yes, there are truths that remain unchanged in my life, and I’m thankful for those few constants to keep me grounded…. but as you will see throughout the pages and posts here…. I, ME, JULIE…. Is NOT the same (thankfully) yesterday, today, and tomorrow…. There is only ONE who remains the same everyday, throughout all time, and I will put my trust in Him…. believing that when I mess up, He will still love me, and when I get it right, He will cheer the loudest!