Ab Workouts…. Results May Vary.

(This post may contain info you deem ‘TMI’….. Read at your own risk.   Which I know means you are going to read it with that much more interest anyway, because we’re either related and/or friends, so we share the same twisted curiosity DNA, or laugh because we should.)

I walked into the bathroom the other evening to brush my teeth and get ready for bed, and Kevin was just getting out of the shower.  I was sizing him up in the bathroom mirror, and commented that its simply not right how ridiculously good looking he is.  This of-course prompted the to-be expected posing and preening, which illicits the expected giggle every time.  We really are predictable.

It was his abs, specifically, that was drawing my attention and appreciation this evening.  Realizing this he commented that it was all attributed to the work-out he gets through sex.  The man never misses a chance to point out the benefits of sex and why I should REALLY want it all the time.  Without skipping a beat I lifted my own shirt, to reveal my rolly-polly, jiggly stretchmark streaked mid-section, and said, “Yeah, I get that…. Sex did this for me too.”

I begged him for a picture of the ridiculous juxtoposition of our ‘abs’, but after 11.5 years of marriage Kevin is still getting used to the fact that I’ll share anything with anyone.  He leans more to the camp that some things are sacred. We balance each other out well.  So use your imagination, or just google a picture of Ryan Reynolds abs, and then try not to stumble with jealousy over the hotness of my husband.  I still don’t know entirely what I did to deserve that.

Use that picture of your imagination against what sex has done to my ‘abs’……


Try to stop laughing…. please.  Seriously.  Once you catch your breath, we can continue…..

I feel like we’re missing the boat in teenage pregnancy awareness/prevention.  Just make a billboard of that, and our girls will be celibate for life!  Please don’t get distracted by the fact that my belly button is approximately two inches below my boobs….. I can’t tell if my boobs just keep dropping lower or if my belly button is actually crawling up my stomach, but its seriously disconcerting.  This is why you’ll never see me in a bikini.  Screw the stretch marks…. those I could KINDA get on board as being a badge of honor after 4 kids, but my belly button landing roughly an entire foot above where it should be is a real show stopper!

Anyway…. Happy Valentines Friends, I love you all dearly.  My gift to you is laughter…. My gift to my husband will be an ab workout 😉

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